Dear Lily?
by Californian Poppy
Summary: What If Mc Gonagall went to hogwarts the same year as Harrys parents? A forgivness letter to Lily.


Dear Lily ****

Archive: Anywhere just tell me first.

Disclaimer: not mine and never will be, though one can dream can't they?

Authors note (Yea, I know I never shut up.): First of all I know this has nothing to do with the book but you have to understand you are now, with special permission, entering my world where the rules don't quite apply. Right glad that's sorted out. 

Feedback: tons for feedback is the language of the ego. Also no flamers cause my dragons hungry. Aren't you sun spot? 

Dear Lily

I am writing this in the hope you would be able to forgive me. You see I was there, that fateful night that you gave your life to save your son. You properly didn't even know I was even in the area, but I was. I was standing, by the window, invisible to the naked eye, staring shocked at your husband's murder, then you're own, unable to stop it. I had come to ask for your forgiveness but I had been to late. Too to save you and too late to even say a word before you were whipped away from me in a whirlwind of tears, mostly cried by your loved ones.

To try and get you to forgive me for everything I did I have to tell you everything, and the only way I can do that, is to start at the very beginning.

I sat all on my own in the compartment of the train, my nose shoved in a book, as usual, trying to feel prepared for what lay ahead of me. I wasn't, of course. I didn't know what to expect and that frightened me more, than the fact I would be on my own for the first time in my life. But I wasn't alone for long. A tall thin boy with serious eyes walked into my 

compartment soon after the train started moving. I smiled at him shyly.

"Hi," I tried to sound confident, to show him nothing frightened me, I wasn't to know it couldn't work on him until much later on.

He just nodded and offered his name, Remus Lupin. I moved my bag off the chair so he could sit down and offered mine. We started chatting and I began to realize I wasn't the only one nervous. I was just starting to ask, did he know anything about defense against dark arts, when a short, brown haired girl wandered into the compartment. Two boys flanked her. Both had black hair, but while one was wiry, the other was a little taller with a muscular build. They were James Potter and Sirius Black. The girl was you, Lily Marlain.

That was all it took for us to become fast friends. We were inseparable during our school years, much to annoyance of the professors, because we always seemed to get in loads of trouble whenever we were together. I always believed that it was a good thing we were so bright because if I remember correctly we spent most of our nights causing mischief and winding up our old Gryffindor head, Professor Moore. 

Do you remember those late nights? Fueled with adrenal, crouching next to a suit of armor, or standing in the shadow of a doorway and praying with all your might that Flitch wouldn't catch us and drags us there and then to Moore's office. Of course those few moments of hiding in darkness were done away with as soon as James obtained that wonderful cloak. Not that it did away with our sense of mischief, on the contrary it helped us get away with greater and more daring schemes, much to the exasperation of the teachers and enjoyment of the students.

But there was always one student that never laughed, just glared in his oily way of his and plotted how to get even with us Gryffindors. He's still doing it, although to a younger generation. He teaches in the school now, in fact he is the head of Slytherin and teaches Potions. It's strange really, Potions was always your worst subject, and he never let you forget it and I believe that is why that nasty incident happened in fifth year.

Do you remember it Lily? We had just found out why poor Remus was often missing or sick, it still shocks me how he kept it from us and how the boys managed to hide from us too, the fact that they were amigai. (One of the reasons I myself got interested in it, because I always believed I the age old rule, anything boys can do, girls can do better.) They called us into the restricted section of the library, after checking that no one was about. I can still picture Remus's face as he told us. The fear of rejection and the pleading of acceptance. He needn't have got himself worked up though; we just hugged him, assuring him of everlasting friendship. When we headed out of the library Sirius bumped into Snape making him drop the heavy books he had been carrying. I'm sure that this is why the next part happened.

The next day after Remus's confession, we got our potions tests back. I had scraped a B-, but you having been sick just before it had gotten a D. I'm not sure how Snape found out but the next day he yelled it out, for the whole school to hear it, in the great hall. 

"Lily, yes the great Lily Marlain, is failing potions."

Only the Slytherins laughed, but you didn't notice and fled crying, out of the great hall, with James in hot pursuit. Oh boy was Sirius mad, fuming almost. He loved you like a sister Lily and nobody hurts Sirius Black's relatives and gets away with it. That night Sirius accidentally tells Snape how to get to the weeping willow after mentioning it casually to Peter when Snape was in hearing to find out about Remus's disappearances. Unfortunately for Snape it was 

Full moon that night. Luckily, James managed to leap in, save the day, escape with only minor cuts and get the girl, and that is the reason I'm writing this letter. I was sitting in front of the fire in the common room when Sirius entered. He sat beside me for about five minutes until he jumped up and asked me to play a Quidditch with him. I agreed, if somewhat reluctantly, if you remember, I wasn't the best player of the game. I also agreed to fetch the brooms. I was just entering the broom shed when I heard a sound coming from the corner. Interested I muttered a weak invisibility spell under my breath and stepped towards the corner. What I saw was you Lily, and James. He gently cupped your chin in his right hand and with his left, softly caressed your cheek. He then reached in to kiss you, and I ran, tears burning my eyes. I'm still not sure why I cried, I had never loved James, he wasn't my type. Though I did care about him, as a friend. The only thing I can think of is how gentle he was with you, as if he was afraid the tiniest thing would break you into little pieces. I knew then that he loved you, that he harbored a love so pure nothing could stop it and I also guess I was jealous that you had found your soul mate and I had not. I never told anyone never spoke a word of it until you 

broke the news to us. You never noticed I wasn't as happy as the rest didn't hug as tight as I should have. 

Oh Lily I was downright horrible to you both. I left love letters you sent to each other, through me, in classrooms, forgot to tell you times and places James had organized to meet you. You never found out of though because while I was being as rotten a friend as I could, Remus was being as good. He knew what I was doing, I'm sure of it and always told you the times and gave you the notes, and all the things I hadn't done. He never said a word though, to you or me. But even his efforts could not save our friendship. Lily I acted so mean to you during our last year. I didn't even come to your wedding after graduation, didn't even apologize when I knew you were upset, because I didn't come to Harry's christening. I was too filled with hate to even give you a reason. Now I wish I had, had come to talk with you sooner, to explain. I never did though. I'm so sorry

Lily, my goodness it doesn't seem enough, does it but all I can do. I tried to make it up to you, though by making sure Harry was all right protecting him, though he never noticed. But the more times I kept him out of danger the more I wished I could say it to you. Dearest Lily if you can forgive me, I'll be able to live in peace, and that's the best thing you can give me.

Minerva Mc Gonagall

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Epilogue 

A cold wind whipped around the lone figure's cloak, as she battled to keep it from being blown away. She stopped walking at the top of a small hill, in the middle of the graveyard. Take a deep breath to steady her nerves, she knelt next to two graves stones. Both were in the shape of angels, except one had a masculine face and the other had a smaller face that almost looked like a child's. She inspected the two of them carefully for any signs of decay. There wasn't, the spell on the graves was very strong and prevented any mess. She then took a role of parchment out of a pocket concealed in her robe and laid it gently, on the grave. The wind tried to steal it from her but she placed a nearby plant pot on

top of it, so it wouldn't get away. As she began her decent the wind flowed around her, gentler then before. She stopped and listened to the sound it made. 

__

"All is forgiven, my friend."

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A great weight lifted off her heart; somehow she knew her friend was happy. A solitary tear ran down her cheek, but she didn't brush it away. 

The End

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End file.
